Our little girl Gracie Anne was diagnosed with cystic hygroma and fetal hydrops at 22 weeks (of pregnancy).At 24 weeks, on April 19, 2008, she was delivered stillborn. We later got conformation that she had Turner’s syndrome.
Through some research on the Internet we got in contact with Alexandra’s House. Patti Lewis gave me a lot more information than any of the medical community as far as what to expect. I thank God for her heart of compassion and comfort that she so freely gives to those of us in so much pain, grief and shock. She told us that most of the time these babies pass at 23 to 24 weeks at the latest and usually before that. She helped us, blessed us, prayed for us, and Alexandra’s house even bought the little casket for our precious little one to be buried in.
It has now been five months and I have good days and bad ones. I am comforted to know that I will be with Gracie in eternity and this time apart is so short. I am looking forward to the day that I get to see Gracie’s face as God created it. I know I will never be the same. My little girl took a part of my heart and I feel her absence every day. What I can hope is that this experience will make me a better, stronger person. That is what Gracie would have wanted. Though she lived a very short time, she taught me life’s greatest lesson. The last realization that I had was this: we have to choose to love. In all situations, we must choose to love ourselves, love others, love and know that we are loved. If we love, we don’t fear, hate, become bitter, or have self-pity, anger, or envy. The by-products of love are joy and peace! I realized that I needed to love. It is my choice to love. I did love Gracie and I still do. It is beautiful that God gave me that. If we love in all situations, only good will come of it. Nothing evil ever came out of love. When I start to have the negative emotions, I am not choosing to walk in love. Then I remember that I love(ed) Gracie. Just love! This was the verse that I used at our wedding. It means so much more to me now. “Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends.”
I hope this is healing to all who read it. It has been good for me to write this all down.
Much love in our Father’s name.